After therapy today, things started hitting me like a train wreck. My finance, life, money, lack of a job, lack of self, lack of a purpose for why I'm here on earth. The whole enchillada came out of the oven and one lingering question remained: Now what?
People say fix it, do something about it. Believe me, if I could I would, but I'm so completley overwhelmed right now that I don't even know where to start. I don't know how to start. After 26 years, I am at a point where I don't know who I am, what I want in life, or how to go about accomplishing it. I need help in a major way, but everyone is so caught up in their own lives, or they don't want to. I know I project an image of this tough gal, but believe me when I say I'm not at the moment. Knowing you're officially broke, can change your whole outlook on life. I'm scared, freaked out, and simply put, lost. If anyone has a map please let me know.
I often wonder if there's something out there I'm meant to do, but I just haven't found it yet. That's what they told me in therapy. I need to find out what I can do so I can get a job. This past weekend I went to my mom's and it was great! Those of you that know me, know that I rarely, if ever, say that visiting my mom is a great thing. I managed to work out some issues with her which I had been holding onto for years. Now that I look back, I don't know why I held onto them. At any rate, after working things out with my mom, we came to a new understanding. We'll see how long it lasts.
After any emotional realization, there's a sense of inner freedom. Honestly, I do feel free in respect to her, but I wish the rest of my life would work out somehow.
What am I meant to do? What's my purpose in life? Why am I here? Will I ever be able to answer these silly questions so I can stop asking them?
I'm going to go to bed now. Sleepy. zzzzzzzzz
Yoda:Bugger:
Angela:
0 have something naughty to say
Miss These?
- - 2006-07-02
I solemly swear that I am up to no good. - 2006-05-05
What has been going on with me - 2006-04-22
year end survey!!! - 2005-12-31
Update from Sunny CA.... - 2005-12-05
