Ever feel as if the world is passing you by and you're just living in it? Lately, that's exactly how I've been feeling.
Everyone is making plans, enjoying life, moving on with theirs and mine is stuck in a stand still. It's my own fault really. I let it get this pathetic. I let myself get into this hole. I am the one who doesn't allow herself the opportunity to get to know people fully, the one who pushes people away when they try to help, and the one who doesn't ask for help when she really needs it. Mostly though, I won't help myself. I don't know, maybe it's because I like suffering, or something in me keeps telling me I deserve it, or the lack of caring has manifested itself to other aspects of my life, like my apathy towards cleaning my apartment, etc.
I'm getting way too deep for this diary thing, I know. There's a lot of things brimming around in my brain that I need to get out. That's what this is here for, right?
Yesterday I saw the movie "Life as a House" and the entire time I was watching it, I kept thinking, I wish life was that simple. I wish someone would take that active of an involvement in my life. I wish I had a family like that. Then I realized, I've got my own wacky family, and my life isn't a movie, it's not fixed in two hours.
Wouldn't it be nice if life was that simple though?
Yoda:
Bugger:
Angela:
0 have something naughty to say
Miss These?
- - 2006-07-02
I solemly swear that I am up to no good. - 2006-05-05
What has been going on with me - 2006-04-22
year end survey!!! - 2005-12-31
Update from Sunny CA.... - 2005-12-05
