Well this entry is going to be a long one. If you haven't been to the bathroom, or gotten any food, go and do that. Then come back, find a comfortable chair, grab something to drink and start reading. Don't say you haven't been warned. :)
It seems like forever since I've even bothered with a real update. I suppose that I really haven't had a lot to say and I've been so tired that I haven't felt like updating much.
A few months ago, I decided to move to Texas. Yeah, I know, Texas is that big huge, cowboy filled state in the midwest that our President has some ranch in. It also happens to be a simply amazing place that I've come to enjoy. Anyway, I made the decision to just go for it, but I didn't know how I was going to do it, where I was going to live, what job I would have, or anything. Along the way, I tried to get jobs there, but those didn't happen. I also tried to do a whole bunch of other things, and made quite a few mistakes along the way, expensive mistakes, I might add. It's OK, though. I've learned from them, which is the important part.
I don't know if it was the continuous failures, the annoyance at my boss, the realization that if I don't leave now, I'll die in my apartment, and never get ahead, or the strong inner desire to find out what it's like to be on my own, that finally made me decide to take the plunge. I'll never know what life is like, unless I go and experience it. I came to the decision that now is as good of a time as any. My current place of employment sucks, there is no growth possibility, and if I stay there, I won't leave. The people who are the fun ones have left, and I'm too much of a spring sparrow to stay anywhere for long. Fortuneately, I love the company I work for, so I'll be transferring, not quitting. This is a good thing.
I know, it's going to be different, beyond my wildest dreams. I know that it will be a culture shock, trying to drive around and learn where everything is. I will be forced to get out there and make new friends, meet new people, and be completely on my own. If I have a bad day, I can't run home to my mom's in an hour.
The entire prospect of this frightens me beyond belief. I'm stressed, can't sleep, can't eat, am nauseous every day, my emotions are a complete mess, and all I want to do is retreat into my shell and go back to my world of things not changing, and staying the same. I may want to do that, but I'm not going to. This will be the best thing for me.
Maybe I am insane. Maybe I'm nuts for wanting to do this. Maybe I'll get there and completely fail. Who knows! That's the beauty of it all. It's uncertain.
The cats will enjoy it, and I'll be able to build a life for myself, my life, not anyone elses.
I'm not moving for a guy, or my friends or for anything else but me. Maybe I am insane. Maybe I'll fall flat on my face, but I'll be ok.
Now that I've gotten that out of the way, onto more interesting things.
Things have been progressing, well with TTB. WHen I went out to Texas, last weekend, we spent an incredible amount of time together and he took me out to this amazing steakhouse called Morton's. It was simply amazing. By far the BEST steak I've ever had in my life. Jenn, you NEED to go there. After Morton's we went to Dave and Buster's and played games for hours. It was quite fun. I had the best time, ever. Thank You. I also got a quick tour of the town, and had an amazing time overall. I did get to see my friend Kimi, and went to the lake, where I was bitten by a ton of mosquitos. Of course the bites swelled up and looked terrible for days. My legs are just now beginning to look somewhat normal, sans the greatly reduced in size bug bites. :)
I did have a job interview, and it went well. I'm waiting for final confirmation of that. I haven't broken the news to my boss yet and I'm not quite sure how that's going to go. I'm hoping it will go well. Keep your fingers crossed.
I couldn't be leaving at a better time. I'm changing team leads again, and I hate the new one. I can't stand him, at all, and the two weeks I'm forced to stay there with be torture enough for me. I'm not into the whole self punishment thing.
Life is funny. You never realize how much you'll be missed, or how much people care about you, until you decide to pick up and leave. It does wonders for my self-esteem, knowing that I am special and important to others, rather than just my cats.
It's important to tell people that you care, or that you miss them, or that they're important to you. I'm not a mind reader. Even though I know that I am, it's always nice to hear it.
I won't lie, I miss my friends from TX. I miss TTB. He's made quite the impression. It's all good, I promise.
There are quite a few things that I want to work out in my life. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they do. From friendships, to the possibility of more, to this relocation, to happiness, I do want it all.
My time has come for something great to happen. It's time for me to make a difference with my life, and in the lifes of others. It's time for me to grow and mature.
I'll keep you all updated on the big move. It's going to be a roller coaster ride. YAY!!
Yoda: Sleeping in the KitchenBugger: Sleeping under my chair
Angela: Watching the Fifth Element
2 have something naughty to say
Miss These?
- - 2006-07-02
I solemly swear that I am up to no good. - 2006-05-05
What has been going on with me - 2006-04-22
year end survey!!! - 2005-12-31
Update from Sunny CA.... - 2005-12-05
