I've learned this weekend that one should never light yummy food smelling candles when one is hungry.
I have a carrot cake smelling one, and I lit it yesterday, and my stomach started to growl and growl and growl. I promptly went and got food. Who knew candles could be so damn powerful.
I've been moping, a lot. I didn't get the training position thing. I received the "Dear John" letter on Monday, and ever since then I've been moping around trying to figure out what I want to do. On one hand, I want to stay with CW, but I can no longer stay in a place where my talents are stiffled, and I'm forced to do work for free. That's not fair to me. I am not the computer person, and I shouldn't have to be. I'm also being underutilized for my skills. I'm bored and half the time I have nothing to do. It's time for a change.
If I can't get a transfer, I'm going to go back to teaching. I don't want to be here anymore. I'm underutilized and I don't see any light at the end of this tunnel in terms of advancement. Our bonuses suck. They can have the extra $100 I get every month. Donate it for all I care. Last month, my overtime exceeded my bonus. Pretty sad if you ask me.
Between managers that don't have a clue about managing, to employees who hoard work, to lazy, incompetent people, it has become ridiculous. I started filling out my applications to teach. If I have to put up with bullshit, then I might as well be paid for it. Plus, let's look at retirement, and with buying a home, and a whole slew of other things. Right now, I can't afford crap. I'm tired of living paycheck to paycheck. I'm tired of being demeaned by supervisors who think I don't know anything. I'm tired of continuously being put down because I don't have 20 years of mortgage experience, but when they need their computer fixed, they're nice to me? No way. My services are no longer free, and I will no longer do them. They can call support for their problems, because I don't care anymore. I'm going to make do with what I need to then, leave. Yes, I like the mortgage industry, but not this place. I want a future, something I can grow with, not just a day to day job.
I know, bitch, bitch, bitch. maybe it would be different if I had roommates, and wasn't living on my own. Maybe if I increased my social skills, I'd feel differently. I'm thankful to have a job, don't get me wrong, but I need more of a challenge and this isn't it.
You know what it's like at work? Typical day, is the manager comes in and talks about how great we are, then finds new "methods" to make us more insane. She plays the "I don't know card." way too much. She gets hosed continuously, and doesn't pay attention to the underlying problems that are evident here. All she cares about are the numbers, nevermind the backstabbing, stealing, excessive overtime, etc. that happen. Additionally, I have co-workers who grump a lot. I have to listen to it day after day. At least at the school, it's about the kids.
I know teaching is hard work. I know it's long hours, but I loved being busy. I loved the sense of accomplishment I received from doing that job. here, I'm so bored, I could cry, and I have.
My bottom line, assessment: People here are inherently stupid. Maybe this is how it is with life. Who knows, as I've reached my breaking point.
Lunch is over, oh joy.
On a completely different note, thank you to everyone who sent me birthday wishes, messages, cards, etc. It means a lot to be remembered and the older I get, the more I realize this. Maybe I am getting wiser as I get older. Does this mean I'm going to sprout feathers, and "hoot?" That's an owl joke, in case any of you were wondering.
Having a period sucks ass. I think they should be banned. Explain to me why men didn't get blessed with this rite of hell?
Finally, my new bed rocks. I got 300 sateen sheets and they're so comfortable. I'm going to save up money and buy a featherbed and eventually a new futon for the living room. One of these days I'll start to get things in order.
Yoda: SleepingBugger: Sleeping
Angela: Working. Is it 5:15, yet?
0 have something naughty to say
Miss These?
- - 2006-07-02
I solemly swear that I am up to no good. - 2006-05-05
What has been going on with me - 2006-04-22
year end survey!!! - 2005-12-31
Update from Sunny CA.... - 2005-12-05
