I'm moving on. One of my friends told me that was a great way to phrase how I was feeling. Moving on from what you ask? Well quite a few things.
I've decided to cut people loose from my online life. It's taken me a long time to come to this decision. It's kept me up at nights, but I know this is for the best.
Like with anything in life, there are cliques, even online ones. For some reason, people feel more comfortable stabbing you in the back if it's online. I guess the lack of having to actually confront the person makes it easier.
There were several people who I thought were my friends, but looking back, I realize it's one sided. With me making more of an effort.
In my opinion, Friendship is two sided. It involves conversation, asking how you are, normal chit chat, and an assurance that you can rely on that person, even if it's only for someone to talk to.
What I found happening a lot with my online "friends" is that I was messaging them more than they ever did, asking about how things were in their lives more, and gradually I started noticing things became more and more one sided.
Those of you that know me, know I'm not one to beg for attention. I've been pretty self sufficient for a while, and know who I can and cannot rely on. Truth be known, I think I find myself being used more by people because of it. It's not entirely their fault though. I'm the one who allows it.
There's a part of me with ridiculous hope that people are inherently good and trustworthy. The problem that I've found is that it's not entirely true. People are just as likely to use and discard you, as they are willing to be your friend. Problems arise when they use you too much which is what happened to me.
So I'm moving on. It's hard to continue to be friends with people that don't want you as their friend, continuously avoid you, and give you one sided conversations. I'm not built to continuously be a doormat, only available when your feet are dirty.
The next time you're online, message me, ask me how I am, or don't. It's not that I don't care, it's that I care too much. It's my weakness.
Yoda:
Bugger:
Angela:
0 have something naughty to say
Miss These?
- - 2006-07-02
I solemly swear that I am up to no good. - 2006-05-05
What has been going on with me - 2006-04-22
year end survey!!! - 2005-12-31
Update from Sunny CA.... - 2005-12-05
